Aunt Flo: I Wasn't Expecting You!

So, I got my period today and I am on vacation.  I literally realized that I got it a few minutes after we arrived. I was not prepared.  I didn't bring all of the drugs I needed and I didn't know where to get an ultrasound that I need to get tomorrow.

I thought I wasn't going to be getting my period until Tuesday after we got back from our trip.  But, in hindsight I really should have known that I may get it over the weekend.  I won't go into all the details but I made some bad assumptions.  I luckily did grab one Gonal-f pen on the off chance that I *might* get my period.  Gonal-f has to be refrigerated and one pen is about $1000 so it is good that I brought it because it's harder to ship.  What isn't great, is that it somehow slipped my mind that I needed Menopur too.

What's not helping the situation is that physically, I am crampy, for obvious reasons, and there is an achy pain in my abdomen, like in the skin.  I am sure it is from the shots.  Emotionally, I feel depressed with a side of rage.  I will blame the messy situation I got myself into on my brain and body being fried already from the drugs. I haven't even started stimming yet.  I do think it will all be ok logistically though.

Luckily, we are right near Martha's Vineyard Hospital. Everyone at Braverman's office was awesome and helped me get everything sorted out.  Martha's Vineyard Hospital is able to do my bloodwork and ultrasound tomorrow.  And, my cleaning lady was so wonderful and ran the Menopur I needed to the post office.  It will be here tomorrow.  We are going to still make the best out of the trip.  But, I am not going to sugar coat this one.  #ivfisnotawesome

I spent our first lunch here making calls and getting this all set up and tomorrow morning is going to be spent at the hospital.

I am also, for the first time, feeling pessimistic about the cycle.  What if I am not relaxing enough and I am getting too stressed by everything not being in order and it affects my eggs?  And, that's just the tip of the negative Natalie swirling around in my brain.  My head is a super dangerous place to be right now.  I won't scare you with more.

Now, I am going to sleep to try to find some Zen.  I know it's ok.  I know I am blessed.  - I am somewhere so beautiful.  I have the opportunity to do IVF.  I have Silvanna working at my house and she ran out to send me my drugs.  Also, my nurse Sandra was on call and helped me on her day off and many others in the office helped as well.  And of course, my husband was helping out.  - But, it just doesn't feel that way right now.  It feels like a crap sandwich - I guess I should say crapster roll since I'm on the Vineyard.  Hoping things feel brighter in the morning.