Most of my pre-infertility life, I was not a very patient person. I may have appeared patient sometimes but that was mostly because I didn't care. When I wanted something that was important, time was not my friend. I wanted to make things happen right away. And a lot of times, that impatience helped me get what I wanted, when I wanted. Except with dating. Impatience while dating, well, that blew up in my face quite a bit.... until it didn't and I met someone who was more impatient than I a was. So, I married him.
And then when we tried to have a baby, the universe was like, "Look you two. You are going to learn how to be patient." And, boy did we get schooled in patience through our struggle with infertilty.
When we first started trying we had no idea. I mean we were in our 30s so we thought, sure maybe it will take a little while. We tried the old fashioned way at first - no ovulation kits or anything. Just straight up birds and the bees stuff. But a few cycles later, I started doing a little research. And, I learned so much.
Thankfully, from the beginning we DID in fact know what hole to use. That wasn't the problem in case anyone was wondering. But, I did have a lot to learn. There are very specific signs from your body that indicate ovulation is happening. I had no idea! I learned all about different types of cervical mucus. I learned where my cervix was and how to find it. I learned how long sperm can generally survive in a body and about LH hormones and ovulation kits. I learned how to chart my temperature and about a site called fertilityfriend.com that helps you track your cycles through your temperature charts. I even learned all about pregnancy tests. When you are trying to have a baby one line is NOT good and two is VERY good.
I wasn't even patient enough to wait to miss my period so I would buy pregnancy tests and test all the time. But, month after month. there would be just one line. The months turned into years. And $20 three packs of pregnancy tests turned into $20,000 IVF cycles. And we had no choice but to wait and wait and wait through failed IVF cycles, for miscarriages to clear, for one period to come to start a cycle and and then wait and hope that the next period didn't come. We had to wait years to become pregnant and wait 40 weeks for our son to be born. But, he didn't come at 40 weeks and we had to finally cut that beautiful boy out at 41.5 weeks.
And then OH JOY! Time didn't even matter. My clock always read Sebastian o'clock pretty much for the first year of life and to a certain degree it will always be Sebastian o'clock for this mommy. And now that he is more than two and a half, my patience sometimes is being tested again. Especially, when I was on hormones for my retrieval. But, thank goodness for my course in patience. It has served me well as a mother.
I can honestly say in general my husband and I are much more patient people because of what we went through. Now we still have moments of impatience but I think we are pretty good.
I do not feel overly impatient waiting through the steps of this IVF. I know it's going to be a long ride. I also am not eagerly looking forward to the drugs, or the side effects of those drugs, I have to take to get pragnant and to sustain said pregnancy. I will do it and it will be worth it but I am not diving in head first. I am just letting things happen.
Right now, I am just starting to feel healthy and like myself again after my retrieval and all of the drugs I had to take. And, I am waiting for my PGS results to come back. I think they take about two weeks from the date of the biopsy which was October 31st, so we have about 6 more days to wait.
Then, I will have to talk to Dr. Braverman about my protocol. I am sure I will at some point have to wait for a cycle to start. Then, I will wait for drugs to kick in. Then, I will wait for my body to be ready for the transfer.
I think I will probably be transferring the embryo in January or February. But, that's only if we end up having something that is worth transferring.
So with hopefully three months left to transfer, I am using that patience I have acquired and letting things fall as they may. I am also focusing on my health and on enjoying my son and husband. Hopefully, we have a beautiful holiday season. And hopefully next year we have someone new, special and sweet to share it with.